Battling Anxiety

I am surrounded by people battling anxiety...it seems that no matter where I go, in whatever crowd, country, or place, I meet people of all ages who struggle with anxiety. And I know that even though I don't experience it like some, I do my share of causing anxiety to my family by following God's call to some unpopular places! Jesus promised us, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27). This is a great promise to remember, but recently I have been reflecting on a blog by John Piper, where he gives practical & specific verses to battle different kinds of anxiety with:
- When I am anxious about some risky new venture or meeting, I battle unbelief with the promise: "Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God; I will help you, I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).
- When I am anxious about being too weak to do my work, I battle unbelief with the promise of Christ, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9), and "As your days so shall your strength be" (Deuteronomy 33:25).
- When I am anxious about decisions I have to make about the future, I battle unbelief with the promise, "I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you" (Psalm 32:8).
- When I am anxious about facing opponents, I battle unbelief with the promise, "If God is for us who can be against us!" (Romans 8:31).
- When I am anxious about being sick, I battle unbelief with the promise that "tribulation works patience, and patience approvedness, and approvedness hope, and hope does not make us ashamed" (Romans 5:3-5).
- When I am anxious about getting old, I battle unbelief with the promise, "Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save" (Isaiah 46:4).
- When I am anxious about dying, I battle unbelief with the promise that "none of us lives to himself and none of us dies to himself; if we live we live to the Lord and if we die we die to the Lord. So whether we live or die we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and rose again: that he might be Lord both of the dead and the living" (Romans 14:9-11).
- When I am anxious that I may make shipwreck of faith and fall away from God, I battle unbelief with the promise, "He who began a good work in you will complete it unto the day of Christ" (Philippians 1:6). "He who calls you is faithful. He will do it" (1 Thessalonians 5:23). "He is able for all time to save those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them" (Hebrews 7:25).
- When I am anxious about my ministry being useless and empty, I fight unbelief with the promise, "So shall my word that goes forth from my mouth; it will not come back to me empty but accomplish that which I purpose, and prosper in the thing for which I sent it" (Isaiah 55:11).

"Be still and know that I am God."
~Psalm 46:10

Schooled in the Gospel by a 4 year old

Recently, while my nephew and I were chopping & freezing apples, we were practicing his memory verse for Awana:

"for my eyes have seen your salvation" (Luke 2:30).

We were talking about what salvation means, and after some clarifications from me, he said, "So we are the apples' salvation from the worms & birds eating them because we picked them first." Yep, right on, professor 4 year old! I was reminded & humbled of how simple the Gospel is by my nephew! The apples needed help if they were not to be destroyed by worms & birds, and helpless to do it themselves, they needed a savior. They didn't need an example of how not to be worm infested, they didn't need encouragement not to be worm infested, they needed a savior to do something they were helpless to do themselves!
The Gospel is that simple, even though we so often try to make it more difficult than that. Reality is, I need a savior - not an example, not encouragement, but a savior to pay a price I am utterly helpless to pay...and the bigger reality is that IT HAS BEEN PAID! Through the cross, I get to exchange my sin (and all of the guilt, consequences, & death that go with it) for Christ's righteousness & eternal life...and I don't have to worry about being eaten by worms! Lord, thank you for the simplicities & complexities in the Gospel...keep them both in the front of my mind & fresh on my heart!
And yes, immediately following the profound statement about salvation, my nephew asked me if I was done chopping apples yet so that we could play operation. And yes, the analogy breaks down because the apples will be eaten by us instead of by worms and birds...and I'm looking forward to it!

Now & Later - more than just a chewy candy!

What do you think about? Do you spend much time thinking about the future?
My sister is 8 months pregnant, and it is causing our whole family to think a little more about the future - wanting to meet this new little boy or girl, wondering how its 2 older siblings will respond to it, dreaming about the baby's personality, passions, gifts, looks, and future.
Yet what if I told you that my sister and her husband haven't changed their lifestyle at all since finding out they are pregnant with their third child. What if they didn't consider their insurance plan, their birth plan, prepare their other two children for it, buy maternity clothes, buy prenatal vitamins, go to the midwife, stop drinking caffeine, prepare a place in their house for the baby, etc. You would probably say they are crazy and so would I! It would be as if they are living in denial of this upcoming event, as if that's going to change anything about the event happening.
Realistically, their knowledge of this future event (birth of the baby) should inform how they live for these 9 months and they should be preparing for that! We don't call pregnant women "expecting" for nothing!
Yet, my confession this morning is that so often I live my Christian life focused more on now in this present world than later in eternity...and I end up looking like I am crazy and in denial. As if denying or not thinking about eternity is going to change whether it happens or not. Regardless of how I live or believe, history isn't cyclical, Jesus is coming back, there will be a day of judgment, there will be a day of redemption & restoration. But it doesn't mean that we are to sit around with our silly formulas trying to figure out when Jesus is coming back (that would be as stupid as my sister & brother in law sitting around using formula trying to figure out exactly when the baby is coming), but rather we should let the reality of the future events inform how we live today. We should live in expectant anticipation!
How would I live today KNOWING that Jesus is coming back, that I will stand before a judge, knowing that the injustices and bad things will be redeemed and restored? How would my life be different today if I lived not just thinking about now, but also about later?

“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this [world].”
~ C.S. Lewis

Glorifying God in Daily Life

What is life about? Some have answered that "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever"(Westminster Catechism). I can imagine what it is like to enjoy God, but what does it look like to glorify Him? Is it something we can only do in worship on Sunday mornings, or can it happen other times and other places too? What does this look like in between running errands, meeting with people, going to class, cleaning the house, taking care of kids, etc.? The key to glorifying God is to remember that it isn't something we can do on our own, but rather something the Holy Spirit does through us as we are connected to God through Christ. It isn't something else to add to our to do list, but rather a lifestyle that should overflow out of our relationship with the Lord. Kevin DeYoung offers 20 biblical ways that we can glorify God in our everyday life:

1. Give God verbal declarations of praise (Rev. 4:8-9).
2. Live a life of noticeable piety (Matt. 5:16; James 1:27; 1 Peter 2:12)
3. Ask God for things in Jesus' name (John 14:13).
4. Bear fruit and show yourself to be a disciple of Jesus (John 15:8).
5. Declare the truth about Jesus (John 16:14).
6. Love your life less than God (John 21:19; 1 Peter 1:7, 4:16).
7. Worship God as God (Rom. 1:21).
8. Life a life of sexual purity (1 Cor. 6:20).
9. Live a life of generosity (2 Cor. 9:13).
10. Rejoice in God's glory displayed in creation (Psalm 19:1).
11. Do the works of faith (2 Thess. 1:12).
12. Use your gifts in God's strength (1 Peter 4:11).
13. Make sure everyone knows you're not God (Acts 12:23).
14. Live a life of gratitude (Psalm 50:23; 2 Cor. 4:15).
15. In matters of liberty, seek the good of others (1 Cor. 10:31).
16. Extend grace to sinners (2 Cor. 8:19).
17. Be a part of a local church (2 Cor. 8:23; Eph. 3:20-21).
18. Tell God you are wrong and he is right (Josh. 7:19; Jer. 13:16; Rev. 16:9).
19. Obey God (Lev. 10:3; Mal. 2:2).
20. Go from a Christ-despiser to a Christ-worshiper (Gal. 1:24).

What Am I Doing?

I started this blog focused around sharing what God was doing through my trip to Swaziland, and now that I've finally posted so many that I wrote during and about that trip, it's going to be changing a little to various topics. I have found that I really agree with the quote "I write when I learn, I learn when I write" and God is using this blog to continue that pattern. Some days, I continue to ask myself "What am I doing?" and trying to convince myself that it would be ok to quit blogging since I haven't done that much, but I know that God is challenging me through this process & discipline. Writing and journaling helps me to pray through things, process things, gain perspective on things, give things to God, and so much more. So for this next season, these are some of the themes that are on my heart that you can expect me to be writing about:
~ attempting to live life daily surrendered to God...resting in the reality of the Gospel...trying to comprehend that I am more sinful than I can ever fear, but more loved than I can ever imagine. There have been many things/people/quotes that God has used to spur me on in my relationship with Him, and the best thing I can do is to pass those on!
~ wrestling through the call that God has put on my life as a full time missionary - here in Denver and to the ends of the earth. During this season of in betweens where I haven't found the right fit with what God is calling me to do with missions, I know that He has called me to keep serving Him each and every day.
~ reluctantly letting go of our family farm and all of the lovely emotional baggage & crap that comes with sorting through and packing lots of family items. As I have begun to dig through the attic, there have been so many memories coming already, that I hope to write & share some of them here.

I know that through God's sovereignty, He puts specific topics on my heart for me to write about...for His glory, for my joy, and hopefully for your benefit, so know that I am praying for that as I write & share these blogs!

Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice

One morning as we were at the care point waiting for the food to be ready for the kids, we started singing a few songs with the preschoolers (any where from 1 yr olds to 6 yr olds). We went through the familiar ones, and then they started singing a song that said,

“The Lord is going to bless someone today....it may be you, it may be me, it may be somebody else.”

I was humbled by the fact that these kids, who have so little, who have been through so much, and who have a very hard life ahead of them are singing about how they can rejoice when others around them are blessed.
So often our first impulse when someone near us is blessed is to ask where our blessing is, or how we can earn it, or what we didn’t do right....yet true community and God-honoring love comes when we put others before ourselves. To be able to truly rejoice when someone else gets blessed, and not ask "why didn't I get that?" To be able to truly grieve with someone who grieves, without our first thought being, "Whew! I'm glad that didn't happen to me!"
God took me half way around the world to teach me through a bunch of preschoolers that I have a long way to go before I can say with integrity that I live out the command in Romans 12:15...

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See...

“Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little eyes what you see.”

This familiar children’s song is often used in teachings on purity, encouraging us to filter what images we watch on tv, look at magazines, etc. We know that we will be held accountable for all of the images we see, and that those images will affect our minds, even if we just glance at them for a second. I once heard someone say "You become what you behold" implying that what we look at will shape who we are.
Yet what about images of another nature...images of children eating crayons because they are so hungry, images of fathers patching holes in mud & grass houses, images of gogos putting food in their bags to take home to share with hungry family members, images of women in tears rejoicing over a month’s worth of food, images of a mother’s tears as she prepares to die and leave her sons motherless, images of a new orphan who doesn’t grasp the full impact of what just happened as his mother died, images of people hungry for God, images of children wearing clothes that are so worn down that they are see-through, images of illiterate people hanging on every word as someone reads the Bible, images of the three wet wipes it takes to clean one child's face, images of people unable to grasp the gift of a book that they can keep forever because they have no possessions....and so many more.
Those images also affect us, but in God’s sovereignty, He allows us to see things in order to take action. We live in a culture that is so bombarded by images that we are numb to most of what we see. Yet James admonishes us that if we see a brother or sister in need and don’t respond to that need, we need to take a second look at our faith that we claim to have (James 2: 14-17).
Our lives are to be full of actions...because of all that we have seen here in our lives, but also because through God's written revelation, we have seen how it ends. We know without a doubt that Christ will come again, that every part of this earth is groaning for redemption (Romans 8), that one day every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, and that those who are in Christ will be raised to spend eternity with Him.

Yet with this glimpse of how it ends, God calls us to action.

He calls us to act now according to what we know will happen in the future...working towards His Kingdom coming, working towards reconciliation, seeing things in this world for the temporary gifts they are, putting our hope in eternity instead of the fleeting circumstances of today. Just as pregnant parents would be fools to not prepare and start living in the reality of the child soon to come, we would be fools to not prepare and start living in the reality of eternity that is to come!