Not In Kansas Anymore

I had big plans and ambitions to blog almost every day while we were in Africa...but obviously that didn't happen. It shouldn't have surprised me that we didn't have internet access after the first two days...after all, TIA (This is Africa). So I will spend the next several days catching you up on blogs I would have posted from Swaziland...had I had internet!

Whenever people ask me for a word to describe myself I have a hard time, but one of my teammates used one this past week that I thought fit well...adaptable. God has wired me to be pretty flexible and adapt to various situations, and for that I am thankful. But even so, whenever I enter a different setting, I have to redefine "normal" and remind myself that I'm "not in Kansas anymore!" Here are a few examples of that different kind of normal in Swaziland, things that made me take a second look or think twice...
- everyone calls you "sisi" (sister) even if they haven't ever met you
- when a cell phone rings, it's not surprising to turn and see someone in traditional tribal clothing pull their phone out of a hidden spot and start talking on it
- many people in Swaziland who have facebook on their phones don't have indoor plumbing and may have never used a toilet or shower in their lives
- when you see men walking cows in the road, it's not as unusual as the fact that they are possibly taking them to pay a bride's father her "bola" (dowry - 17 cows for first and last born daughters, 13 cows for the rest)
- in cultures where people drive on the left side of the road, they walk on the left side of the sidewalk, use the left door, walk up the left staircase, etc.
- it's not surprising for women of all ages, and even men, to have hot flashes because it is so hot!
- visitors often walk around a car once before getting in...because they have forgotten which side of the van the door is on
- when ordering water, you have to specify between tap, still bottled, and sparkling bottled...with or without ice
- it's not uncommon for a 2 lane road to often be driven on as if it has 5 lanes
- chips are fries, crisps are chips, and ketchup is tomato sauce
- it's not uncommon to see a huge baboon on the side of the road as you are driving

There are just a few to give you a glimpse into the last two weeks of my life...much more on Swaziland to come over the next several days!

From One Mission Field To Another...

As you are reading this blog, I am flying across the Atlantic Ocean...coming back from 11 days in Swaziland, where people's poverty is undeniable and they are unable to hide their brokenness behind material comforts. Yet I am coming back to the mission field of Denver...one of the wealthiest parts of one of the wealthiest countries in the wealthiest time in history...where there is so much brokenness, but it's hidden well most of the time. God has reminded me over and over and over that there is a mission field surrounding me here in Denver that is in desperate need for the Gospel. Before I left for Swaziland, I was at a meeting where a Godly man with a heart for Colorado reminded us that out of the 2.8 million people in the Denver area, only 600,000 of them claim to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ...which means that there are 2.2 million people who haven't heard about Jesus, or have rejected His offer of grace.
As I prepare to come back to Colorado, I am convicted and reminded that missions is not an 11 day trip that happens somewhere else, but a sacrificial lifestyle that we have each been called to live...for God's glory and for the eternal sake of 2.2 million of our neighbors in Denver. It's not a booklet to be handed out, a program to conduct, but the life of prayer, of showing and telling the Gospel, that God has invited and called each one of us into, no matter where we are living.

So as I come back, my prayer is that I would be faithful to Christ's command..."As you are going, make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you."

~ Matthew 28:19-20

"God, raise up a people who are no longer content to wait for a tingly feeling to go down our spine to cause us to rise up and do what we have already been commanded to do." (David Platt)

God is Faithful

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

That verse was fresh on my mind this morning as we were driving to the carepoint, and I prayed for our day. Just a few minutes later as we were driving down a bumpy dirt road - and I was trying not to fall on the person on either side of me, and praying for no flat tires - God illustrated that verse for me in a way that reminded me of His hope and that carried me through the rest of a humbling and hard day...and it will be on my heart and mind as I go to bed in a few minutes.
We were being driven down the dirt road by a friend, who reached over at one point and grabbed Mike's knee, saying "Let me tell you a story about how God is faithful." He proceeded to tell us - in a deep accent - how he and his wife had wanted a baby very badly from early on in their marriage. They prayed for one for a few years, and he said that they felt like Hannah in the Bible...and that they echoed Hannah's promise to the Lord. They told the Lord that when He blessed them with a child, they would offer him up to His service. A few years later they were pregnant, and raised their son to love and fear the Lord, never telling him of the promise they had made over his life.
After he graduated from school, he went on to do business work, planning in the near future to do a year "in Christ's service." All the while, his parents were watching closely, as they knew the plan the Lord had for their son. They watched as that son - and his new wife - served for a year "in Christ's service" that then turned in to two years. This father and son had a conversation soon after that second year where the son told his father that he had found what he was created to do and that he and his wife would be serving the Lord in missions in Swaziland.
This father is now the father of one of the lead missionaries that we are working with this week...in ministries that feed over 3000 children each day all over Swaziland. He and his wife have been faithfully and selflessly serving here in the country for over 4 years, and now this missionaries father comes to celebrate the Lord's faithfulness on the call of his son's life.
Yet as I go to bed tonight, one of the things that stands out to me the most about that story and today is the juxtaposition of God's faithfulness alongside the world's brokenness because of sin. That man who told the story recently lost his wife to an unexpected death, has lived through the apartheid in South Africa, has seen all kinds of poverty and heard all kinds of heartbreaking stories about what is going on in Swaziland...yet the story he told us this morning was about the faithfulness of God.
So as I look back on today with humbling realities, faces, names, and pictures stuck in my mind from the carepoint and a few home visits...I will also always look back on today refreshed by the promise that though the fallen nature of the world can be overwhelming...the Lord's mercies are new every morning....and God is faithful.

We Love Because He First Loved Us

Good morning from Swaziland! After a few busy days, I am finally able to get a spot at the 1 computer for our whole hotel, so there is more to tell you than I could fit in one blog!
Praise God, all of our flights, baggage, and transportation went smoothly - which is huge when you consider we flew for over 8000 miles, checked 28 bags, drove across the country of South Africa, and had 2 border crossings! But the Lord prepared the way for us and we were able to relax and begin to prepare for what is ahead!
It has been so surreal being back here - getting used to Swaziland without 15 girls with me, getting used to staying in a hotel in Swaziland instead of in my sleeping bag in a community center, getting used to only being here for a week, getting used to riding in a bus and not driving, etc. But it feels like I was just here last week, not last year!
Swaziland is a beautiful country, with beautiful people, and I have been blessed to be able to see so many familiar faces already! From being picked up by Marius at the airport to getting to spend time already with Jodi, Kriek, Elliot, Julie, Ellie, the D-team (Discipleship team made up of 8 20something Swazis) and many others, I continue to be humbled by the servant hearts of these people whose ministry touches many Americans and Swazis.
We had our first day at the Bheveni carepoint yesterday, where they feed over 100 children every day. We were able to do 2 sessions of Bible school (one for pre-school & one for school aged). This care point is one that I came to only one day last year...to fit 27 of the kids in our 8 passenger van to take them to a Christmas party! It was one near where my co-leader and I commented to each other "some days your paychecks come in dollars, and some days God pays us in sweet songs from Swazi kids!" The joy on these children's faces is evident always, despite the hard things they are living through! We were able to bless each of the 113 kids yesterday with a whole new outfit. Each of our team members were humbled to be the ones to wash these children's faces, help them out of their old, dirty clothes, and into a new pair of underwear, a new shirt, new skirts, shorts, and dresses. Many of them had been wearing their only clothes that they possess...meaning they wear them 6 days a week all day, so you can imagine the looks on their faces as they were able to show their new clothes to their friends!
Well, since I'm paying for internet by the minute (after being shown to this weird room with a tiny desk by a man who let me in with a key and then handed me the key and told me to lock it from the inside), I am going to head out to get some breakfast and then head to day 2 of ministry! We continue to covet your prayers for our time with the kids - today we are focusing on 1 John 4:19 - look it up and pray it with us and for us this morning! Love you all!

P.S. Maddison, as you read this, tell Sam "Happy Birthday" for me and give him a big hug for me!

Overwhelmed By Needs

Many of you have asked me how I can keep going to these places that are filled with so much brokenness, poverty, death, and sadness. Often I am overwhelmed to the point of tears, and am unable to even describe it in words...but a sermon on Psalm 123 has changed my perspective as I live a life of ministry - surrounded by broken people serving broken people in Christ's name. That sermon has become part of my preparation as I head out on a mission trip....kind of like warming up to "Eye Of The Tiger" before basketball games. So, you can be sure that I'm listening to it on my ipod again today as I fly over the Atlantic ocean!

"To You I lift up my eyes, O You who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God."
~ Psalm 123:2

In ministry, my tendency is to be overwhelmed by all of the needs around me and to lose sight of the specific call that God has given me in each situation. Yet in the midst of this passage, God taught me that in ministry (whether in Colorado or somewhere else in the world), my eyes are to be on HIM, and that will direct my hands to what they need to be doing. A maidservant doesn't just think about all that needs to be done, but rather she watches and learns about her mistress so she can anticipate the needs and be ready to serve before the mistress even has to speak. In the same way, as my eyes (and mind and heart) are focused on the Lord, I will see how He is at work and how He has gifted and called me to respond and join Him in that work.
This is huge for me in ministry, because when there is always more to do, it gives me freedom to do a few things well and to trust that He is calling others to respond to the overwhelming needs around me. It gives me freedom to say no to the areas that He hasn't called me to serve, so that I can say a better yes to the ones He has. And so my prayer today is that again this week I would be faithful to serve in the specific ways He has called me to serve...and that others would respond in obedience as He calls them to serve to meet the needs that they see around them.

My Prayer For You As I Head Out

As I head out for 25ish hours of travel towards Swaziland, here is my prayer for both you and I:

May God bless you with discomfort
at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,
so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people
so that you will work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless you with tears
to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in the world,
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
In the name of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen.
(A Franciscan Benediction)

...And A Partridge In A Pear Tree

As I have been going through my lists and buying last minute supplies, I have occasionally had The 12 Days of Christmas going through my head as I try to count & figure out what I still need... 280 pencils, 45 boxes of crayons, and a partridge in a pear tree. I know that for many of you parents, getting your kids ready for school every August is quite stressful, and I feel a little of your pain right now! My math skills have been refreshed as I check to see how many pencils I have, how many I still need, how many vitamins it will take to last 140 kids a few weeks, etc. But through it all, I have been overwhelmed by God's blessings, goodness, and faithfulness. So many times over the past few weeks as I have received donated items or heard of my teammates receiving donations, I have immediately begun to sing the familiar words of the doxology...

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow..."

I am so thankful to so many of you who are giving in such unique ways...here are just a couple of examples of how God has used YOU to provide for my needs and the needs of the people of Swaziland!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."
~ Philippians 4:6

1. During my prayer time on Monday, I wrote in my journal, asking God to direct me to what to buy for the carepoints still. I was a bit overwhelmed by all of my lists and what I actually had in my living room. Later in the day, while talking to my mom, I had her check on the price of vitamins at Sam's (one thing I always kick myself for not taking with me on mission trips to places where kids are going hungry). We found a great deal and between her and another friend, I am taking enough vitamins to last the 140 kids a few weeks. But the clincher was when I was talking to my team leader and found out that vitamins were one thing they weren't able to get with the medical supplies that we're taking! Praise God for answering my prayers so quickly and directing our shopping!
2. As I narrowed down my list and checked things off as people gave them to me, the main things left to buy were random requests from several missionaries who are needing things that can't be bought in Swaziland. I realized that all of these could be bought at the grocery store, and knew I didn't have a ton more of my own money to spend...so I started praying for grocery certificates. And again, the Lord provided...Wednesday I went to get my mail and had a card from an out of state friend, with more than enough money on gift cards for me to use! She didn't have that grocery store near her, so she passed the cards on to me...at God's perfect timing!

So, here are a few lessons I've learned over the years about God's provision (there are so many more examples...just ask me about qtips sometime!):
~ Take everything to the Lord in prayer (our prayer lives aren't to consist of merely presenting a grocery list before the Lord, but we also shouldn't be afraid to talk to Him about the smallest details of our lives...He knows all of our needs before we even ask Him!)
~ When the Lord prompts you to think about giving something to someone...even if it seems crazy...the best thing you can do is obey!
~ We can all grow in learning to live with open hands - receiving the ways the Lord wants to provide for us, while holding things loosely enough to give them away (with generous hearts) if He calls us to.

"But as you excel in everything - in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you - see that you excel in giving also...For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened, but that as a matter of fairness, your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply your need, that there may be fairness."
~ 2 Corinthians 8:7, 14

Half Of My Heart

I have to confess...some of my most powerful worship times are not in church, but rather in my car, listening to random radio stations. God speaks to me in powerful ways through songs that have been written about something else in life...but so often He uses and applies the lyrics of them to my relationship with Him. Lately it's been John Mayer's Half Of My Heart. I know, I'm taking these words out of context of how what he was thinking when he wrote the song...but re-read them as if they were talking about your relationship with God.

"Then you came on crashing in, like the realest thing, trying my best to understand, all that your love can bring.
Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time, half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that I can't keep lovin' you, can't keep lovin' you, oh, with half of my heart.
I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else, made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself. Lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came, showing me another way, and all that my love can bring."

So often I am frustrated with myself because I am guilty of loving God with only half of my heart...and I long to love Him with so much more! He has freed me from loving only myself, redeemed me so that I can begin to glimpse what love really is, and show me another way...but I keep living in this self-destructive way of only loving Him with half of my heart! I was created to "love the Lord with all of my heart and with all of my soul and with all of my might." Deuteronomy 6:5
Yet as long as I keep loving Him with half of my heart, I will be left looking for satisfaction and meaning in the people and things around me....worshipping idols as so many who have gone before have done. As I seek to love Him with all of my heart, and be loved by Him...I will say with David that "Your love, Lord, is better than life....my soul will be satisfied." Psalm 63: 3, 5

Reality Check...A Closer Look at Swaziland Statistics

I recently read that if you are a 15 year old in Swaziland, your chances of living to the age of 32 are 6%! SIX PERCENT!!! Translated...that means your chances of dying before you turn 32 are 94%. You are probably more likely to be struck by lightning or attacked by a hippo than live to be 32 if you live in Swaziland...all because of the AIDS crisis. Of the 900,000 people in the country, the orphan population is closing in on 200,000. And half of all 20 somethings have AIDS already. But the one that hits me hardest is the first statistic....6 %!
To put this into perspective, I have just finished packing 140 bags full of school supplies and vitamins. God has provided enough money, through so many generous people, for our team to also be able to buy each child a pair of shoes for school, have a party with a cooked meal for them while we're there, and give out a ton of clothing...but reality is still there. According to that first statistic, only 8 or 9 of those kids will live to be 32...meaning that 132 of the kids I will meet next week will probably die of AIDS (or some disease like TB resulting from a weakened immune system) before they are my age! God, have mercy!
So what has God called us to do in this seemingly hopeless situation? Without wanting to be too morbid or a Debbie-downer, the thing that I keep coming back to is that we must prepare them for eternity. Yes, we can encourage them in school, help them set goals, encourage them to dream about their future, provide them with food, clothes, and school supplies...but we must balance that with the reality that some experts have said that with the current birth/death rates the way they are, Swaziland won't exist by 2050 because AIDS will have ravaged it beyond repair. And James' words come ringing true to my ears....

"What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes"
(James 4:14).

And for children in Swaziland, this verse describes the frailty of life all around them, that they will be looking at death and eternity all too soon.
So as we go next week...prepared to bless the socks off of the kids and the gogos ("grandmas" that cook, teach, and care for the kids at the carepoints), as well as those we will meet through house visits...in the back of my mind I will be thinking about the best gift that I can give them...the gift of the Gospel that we have been entrusted with. As much as I anticipate seeing their joyful faces when they receive clothes, shoes, and school supplies, the look on their faces when they realize they can have eternal peace and be with the Lord beyond this world is beyond description. To look in the face of a 28 year old woman who has "the peace that passes understanding" as she prepares for her death, to sit with a grieving gogo as she realizes her new responsibility of parenting her orphaned grandchildren...the only thing that can get anyone through those times is trusting in the sovereignty of God and the eternal hope that we have in Christ.
As we go to teach VBS and love on these kids, I hope to be used by God to pour into them, pray for them, teach them, and encourage them as if they were a terminally ill child in the hospital...because they are...statistics have given them only 25 more years to live at most. Yet I go hopeful, because as we trust in what Christ did for us on the cross, we can cling to the promise that

"the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away...for He is making all things new."
(Revelation 21:3-5)

This world is temporary because we were created for another world with unhindered intimacy with the God of the universe...and we can begin to live in that now!

Prayer For Missions

“I am feeling more and more that it is...the prayers of God’s people that call down blessing upon the work [of missions], whether they are directly engaged in it or not...Christians at home can do as much for foreign missions as those actually on the field. I believe it will only be known on the Last Day how much has been accomplished...by the prayers of earnest believers...Solid, lasting missionary work is done on our knees.”
-James Fraser, who became a full-time missionary at 22

“Prayer is the work of missions.”
-John Piper

I invite you to join me in praying for the people of the Swaziland; the pastors, missionaries & Christians in Swaziland; and our mission team.

Pray that God will glorify Himself through His work among the people of Swaziland.

Pray for unity, boldness, and encouragement among Christians in Swaziland.

Pray for churches in Swaziland to reach out to meet the needs of the people.

Pray that God would protect Christians as they share the Gospel, keeping them safe in travel and health.

Pray for the Lord to send missionaries to Swaziland.

Pray that people will become open to hearing about Jesus and will become believers.

Pray for the salvation and witness of those in positions of leadership in Swaziland.

Pray that God will glorify Himself through our ministry next week.

Pray for opportunities for us to share our faith and for boldness as we witness.

Pray for God to prepare the hearts of the people we will encounter.

Pray for our cultural sensitivity, understanding, and humility.

Pray for our relationships with our Swazi ministry partners.

Pray for team unity.

Pray for humility and a flexible spirit.

Pray that God will use this mission experience to create a passion for missions in each of us and those who are supporting this trip.

"In our lifetime, wouldn't it be sad if we spent more time washing dishes or swatting flies or mowing the yard or watching television than praying for world missions?"
-Dave Davidson

(some material taken from My Life, His Mission by Kim Davis)

In The Blink Of My Eyes

Why “In The Blink Of My Eyes”? The average person blinks around 657 million times in their lifetime; 17,000 in one day alone. We see so many images, faces, words, and our eyes are bombarded every moment of every day...yet if we are looking close enough, with tender and teachable hearts, the Creator of the universe, who has paid the price of redemption, is pursuing us, and is offering it to us in grace, is revealing Himself to us through every blink of an eye.

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.”
(Psalm 19:1)
“For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”
(Romans 1:20-21)

Not only have I been blessed to see the ways the Lord has revealed Himself in His creation - in the mountains, in the faces of His people, in the beauty of three continents. But also, He has revealed himself to me as I’ve looked into the eyes of so many people who are hungry for Him - hundreds of teenagers, thousands of suburban people, hundreds of orphans.

So, this blog is my futile attempt at sharing some of the ways that the Lord is revealing Himself to me in the blink of my eyes.

It has been a long (and hard) decision for me to decide to write a blog, but I have decided to...

• in order to keep myself accountable for sharing the stories that God allows me to have a front row seat on;
  
• in order to keep the writing part of my brain thinking (after so many years of school, it seems a waste to shut it down!);
  
• in order for me not to have to bombard people with emails to update them when I am serving on a mission trip.
  

I will use it not just to update you while I’m gone, but also to share with you the ways that the Lord is constantly teaching, refreshing, refining, and somehow using me here in Colorado as well. To Him alone be the glory!