Born: Alive Male

That’s what the papers said when she & her baby were being discharged from the hospital on Thursday. Most important thing first - alive, and secondary to that, "it's a boy!" It struck me as odd at first, but with all of the poverty issues in rural Swaziland, I don’t even want to imagine how many babies are stillborn. I continued to read through the paperwork as the hospital administrator calculated the costs for this new mom, who had spent one night in the hospital. I was wondering if they would charge more since a white person was there to pick her up, and I was thinking about friends of mine who have recently had babies in the US and how many thousands of dollars that had cost. I knew that it probably wasn’t going to cost over 100 Rand (about 13 US Dollars), but was completely shocked when the administrator told me it would be 30 Rand (just over 4 US Dollars). Granted, she did have to pay the admittance fee the day before (about $2) and we were stopping by the pharmacy next to get a few types of pills for her to take (about $.50 worth)...which still only brings us up to a total of about $6.50 for this woman to deliver her baby in a hospital and stay the night! We got all of the pills, picked up her bag, and found she and her brand new baby boy (wrapped in the towel/diaper & blanket she brought with her from home). As she got in the back seat of my car, holding her newborn baby, I buckled my seatbelt (which seemed wrong if a newborn wasn’t going to be in a car seat!), and reflected back on how I had gotten to be in this situation.
On Tuesday morning, a couple of ministry partners & I were going up to the carepoint to give the teacher her lessons for the week. As we pulled into through the gate, we could see this young pregnant woman laying on her side in the shade. She was laying on a woven grass mat in the dirt, up against the corrugated tin sided cooking shelter. She looked uncomfortable, obviously towards the end of her pregnancy. As we asked questions, we found out that she is 26 years old and this would be her fourth child. Leaving the carepoint later that morning, we wished her well during these last weeks of pregnancy.
The next morning, we got word that she had gone into labor during the night & wanted to go to the hospital to deliver. As we went to pick her up, I followed a rough dirt road until it wasn’t really a road anymore, but just well-worn foot paths. I turned into the gate of her property, and saw in front of me a humble (to say the least) homestead. Her house was made of mud and sticks and about 10 feet by 10 feet, and not quite tall enough for me to stand up straight in. On the left side of it, was an outdoor cooking structure. We drove up closer to her house, and there were about 4 or 5 women around, some sitting, some working. As they were getting her up off the bed, we asked if she had money for the hospital, and the neighbor lady replied that she had enough to take care of it. This 26 year old woman had lost both of her parents, and the baby’s father wasn’t taking care of her, but her neighbor was.
We pulled away from her homestead, trying to go slowly enough that the bumpy dirt road wouldn’t bother her, but her moaning continued. I decided that I could multitask & started timing her contractions (based on her moans) while driving down the dirt road. From what I could tell, they were about 3 minutes apart, which led me to start thinking of how we could deliver a baby on the side of the road using only what I had in the car!
Thankfully, we made it to the paved road and then were able to drive to the hospital about 45 minutes from her homestead. We got her into the matenity (yep, that’s how they spell it) ward, and her son was born less than 45 minutes later!
They admitted her for the night, so first thing the next morning, we went back to pick her up & take her home. She had named her son Lindane, which means “taken care of”. Thankfully that’s how he entered this world - taken care of by his mother, who was taken care of by her neighbor. And God willing, that’s how he will continue to live and grow in a nation which seems to have been abandoned, he will be a reminder that God has and will bring people alongside of he & his mom to take care of him.

When I'm 64...

If I remember right, there is a line in that Beatles’ song that says, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?” For some reason that is the song that has come to mind for the last few days as I have gone over to visit Gogo (Grandma) Lily. Gogo Lily is one of my closest neighbors here in Swaziland and had a stroke this summer. Because there isn’t health care here, to provide nursing care, physical therapy, etc. she is left totally dependent on her family on her homestead and whomever else God will provide to take care of her. She has not been able to walk on her own since the stroke, and so she spends most of the days in bed or sitting on the floor by her bed. God has provided for her in a huge way, in the fact that this past month one of the visiting team members from the US was a occupational therapist, who had worked in geriatrics. While she was here for 3 weeks, she was able to find a walker in the community that wasn’t being used. She brought that to Gogo Lily’s every day and started working with her to get her walking again. Gogo Lily has slowly regained her balance and strength, where she could go from one side of the room to the other with the walker, and we have now progressed to where she can go up and down the outside step to her house.
As she continues to progress in her walking, it is great to see how valuable she is to her family still. Her 1 year old granddaughter still naps on a mat in her house, and many of the grandchildren come in and out all day long.
It is hard for me to imagine being in Gogo Lily’s place, totally dependent on the people around me and strangers from around the world to care for me and help me to walk again. But because God is in the equation, yes, Gogo Lily, we still need you and we will still feed you...when you’re 64 (or older)!

Day 1

It’s taken me a few days to get over jet-lag & to get used to being back in Africa, but the first day made me jump right into the deep end instead of wading in over a few days! Here’s just an abbreviated time line:

2:30am - wake up from jet lag & have a great early prayer time
4:30am - get up
6:30am - leave Johannesburg
8:30am - stop for breakfast at a wild west/Indian themed restaurant in a gas station with rhinos out back
11:34am - see billboard that advertises fencing that is made by 97% Swazi men
11:45am - get a little too close to a bus as we head into Manzini
11:46am - realize the driver in the other bus was coming close to try to warn us of the protests downtown (it’s bad, it’s bad, it’s bad)
11:47am - hold on as our large van & FULL trailer make a u-turn on a 4 lane highway over a raised median
11:55am - praise God for the bus driver who warned us about the protests as we see another bus with its windshield smashed in
12:20pm - stop at an Italian restaurant for lunch & to find out what’s going on
1:45pm - run into a guy from California who tries to sell us the fencing that’s made by 97% Swazis - I guess he’s the other 3%?
2:15pm - go around town & enter on the back roads to avoid downtown
2:45pm - drop of team of no-longer strangers that I traveled with from Atlanta
3:15pm - go with Elliott to drop off the van & pick up the car I will be driving (and say a prayer that I remember how to drive in Swaziland...& find myself quoting Home Alone “This is it, don’t get scared now!”)
3:30pm - take car downtown (it was safe for those who aren’t in vans) to get fixed tire back on & put spare in trunk
3:45pm - watch several grown Swazi men stand in a pick up truck to see the protests going on over a wall in the next block
4:10pm - Elliott says “you’re in Africa now, you must check the car often” and shows me the quirks of the car I will be driving
4:34pm - fill car with petrol & drive the back way out of town & down to Nsoko (dodging people, cows, goats & sugar cane trucks along the way)
5:19pm - saw hand pedaled tricycle on side of the road
5:45pm - drove through police checkpoint, thankful that I didn’t have to stop
6:02pm - arrive at the team house to meet the 6 strangers I will be living with for the next week
6:45pm - joined them to eat breakfast for dinner
7:45pm - went to room to journal & read before bed
8:05pm - new roommate comes to talk
8:30pm - back to journaling
9:15pm - fall asleep convincing myself that I really am in Africa & everything did just happen in less than 24 hours

Time Warp: 8 Hours Ahead & 100 Years Behind

Even though Swaziland is 8 hours ahead in time, I often feel like I am entering a time warp and going back 100 years in time as I go there. Seeing people plow fields with horse drawn plows, houses without plumbing or electricity, doing laundry by hand makes me think more about my ancestors who first settled in the United States. But I find that it makes me question who is more developed & who has made all the progress, and for what. I realize this is oversimplifying things, and there are huge ways that our technology & progress have helped the world, but I often wonder if we suffer from some type of chronological elitism....where we think we are better or smarter than those who lived 150 years before us. Or than those who live in the majority developing world, similar to the US 150 years ago. I really think that a majority of us in the United States are really just lazy and unintelligent, relying on the technology that a few really smart people have developed over the last few centuries. I mean, really, if you were without power, indoor plumbing, phone service, a car, and an education, how would you survive?
The ironic thing is that the more “progressive” & somewhat trendy cultures within the US are trying to be more like the majority developing world, without even knowing it. We have programs to help people walk & bike to work, people are intentionally trying to get to know their neighbors that they’ve never talked to or needed to talk to, we are reusing containers instead of throwing them away, we are using real bags to carry stuff instead of plastic ones, we are reselling clothes so that they can be worn until they actually wear out, we are saving energy by hanging our clothes outside instead of using a dryer, we are having more and more babies at home every year.
So maybe Swaziland is really 8 hours ahead, 100 years behind, and 50 years ahead...

Same Planet, Different World

Before I left, my 4 year old nephew & I were talking about the long plane ride I would take & how far away I would be. At one point, he asked me if I was going to fly close by the moon on my way to Africa. While it seems like an absurd question, it really isn’t that far off....for as different as some things about the cultures are, we might as well be on different planets! As I was flying over the Atlantic ocean, I was praying for the Swazi people & thinking about several who I want to spend time with while I’m here. I was imagining them walking to get water, standing over a fire cooking, sleeping on the mats on the floors of their houses....and at the same time I overheard two flight attendants telling each other the football scores that they had just gotten text messages about. I can’t even comprehend the technology that makes airplanes fly, let alone what all is involved behind international text messaging....and knew I was going to a different world!

Here For You

As I have talked to various people about this trip, I have heard comments about how great it is what I am doing for myself by going on this adventure, how great it is that I am going to serve the Swazi people, and I was saddened by these well-meaning Christians who have lost the focus on why we do what we do. This song has been my prayer for this trip and is a great reminder that whether we are serving our loved ones at home, in ministry in the US, or overseas somewhere, the ultimate reality for every Christian is that we are here (wherever that may be) for Him alone...all else (that others & we ourselves are blessed through serving) is icing on the cake!

Let our praise be Your welcome, let our songs be a sign
We are here for You, we are here for You
Let Your breath come from heaven, fill our hearts with Your life
We are here for You, we are here for You
To You our hearts are open, nothing here is hidden, You are our one desire
You alone are holy, only You are worthy, God let Your fire fall down

Let our shout be Your anthem, Your renown fill the skies
We are here for You, we are here for You
Let Your word move in power, let what’s dead come to life
We are here for You, we are here for You
To You our hearts are open, nothing here is hidden, You are our one desire
You alone are holy, only You are worthy, God let Your fire fall down
To You our hearts are open, nothing here is hidden, You are our one desire
You alone are holy, only You are worthy, God let Your fire fall down
We are here for You, Jesus,

We welcome You with praise, we welcome You with praise, almighty God of love, be welcome in this place
We welcome You with praise, we welcome You with praise, almighty God of love, be welcome in this place
Let every heart adore, let every soul awake, Almighty God of love, be welcome in this place
We welcome You with praise, we welcome You with praise, almighty God of love, be welcome in this place

Be welcome...be welcome...come and take Your rightful place.

My Prayer For You As I Go...

The view from the plane as we come over the African Coast at Namibia.

"What I finally came to as I walked and prayed for you is the old, old story of getting the gospel clear in your own hearts and minds, making it clear to others, and doing it with only one motive — the glory of Christ. Getting the glory of Christ before your eyes and keeping it there is the greatest work of the Spirit that I can imagine. And there is no greater peace, especially in the times of treadmill-like activity, than doing it all for the glory of the Lord Jesus."
~Heart of a Servant Leader: Letters from Jack Miller

Wealthy King + Impoverished People = ???

The juxtaposition of wealth and poverty in Swaziland is incomprehensible. A king who builds elaborate palaces for all of his wives just minutes from people who eat grass or go hungry on a regular basis. There have been articles recently about how rich the king really is, and also about how the poverty is impacting the most helpless - the children. In the deepest parts of us, there is an outcry, wanting someone to do more to reconcile this great abyss between the rich and poor. After all, what is the right response to take care of these people?
Yet this lack of action & compassion in this reality on the other side of the world stands in contrast to another king. A King who has much more than any earthly king could ever imagine, a King who has no obligation to share His wealth, riches, or glory with anyone. A King who looks upon an impoverished people who are dying in their own messes, totally helpless to do anything for themselves, and who often don't even know how bad of shape they are in. And this King, who doesn't have to do anything, does the unimaginable. He goes & pays the ultimate price to buy back these people, sacrificing His own wealth and comfort in order to provide for them what they could never earn.
The situation in Swaziland makes the extravagant love of God through Jesus Christ stand out even more. That while we were dead in our sin, totally unable to save ourselves, in a worse situation than we even knew, God lavished His graces upon us, knowing we could never earn it or even begin to pay Him back.

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of
His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ."
~Ephesians 1:7-9

Reality Check...Another Look At Swaziland Statistics

I recently read that if you are a 15 year old in Swaziland, your chances of living to the age of 32 are 6%! SIX PERCENT!!! Translated...that means your chances of dying before you turn 32 are 94%. You are probably more likely to be struck by lightning or attacked by a hippo than live to be 32 if you live in Swaziland...all because of the AIDS crisis. Of the 900,000 people in the country, the orphan population is closing in on 200,000. And half of all 20 somethings have AIDS already. But the one that hits me hardest is the first statistic....6 %!
To put this into perspective, there are about 300 kids at the school across from where I will be staying. We have just been given permission to go over each week to teach these elementary aged kids about God's love...but reality is still there. According to that first statistic, only about 18 of those kids will live to be 32...meaning that 282 of the kids I will be spending time with this fall will probably die of AIDS (or some disease like TB resulting from a weakened immune system) before they are my age! God, have mercy!
So what has God called us to do in this seemingly hopeless situation? Without wanting to be too morbid or a Debbie-downer, the thing that I keep coming back to is that we must prepare them for eternity. Yes, we can encourage them in school, help them set goals, encourage them to dream about their future, provide them with food, clothes, and school supplies...but we must balance that with the reality that some experts have said that with the current birth/death rates the way they are, Swaziland won't exist by 2050 because AIDS will have ravaged it beyond repair. And James' words come ringing true to my ears....

"What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes"
(James 4:14).

And for children in Swaziland, this verse describes the frailty of life all around them, that they will be looking at death and eternity all too soon.
So as I go this weekend...prepared to love on the kids and the gogos ("grandmas" that cook, teach, and care for the kids at the carepoints), as well as those I will meet through house visits and other projects...in the back of my mind I will be thinking about the best gift that I can give them...the gift of the Gospel that we have been entrusted with. As much as I anticipate seeing their joyful faces when they receive any material possessions or food, the look on their faces when they realize they can have eternal peace and be with the Lord beyond this world is beyond description. To look in the face of a 28 year old woman who has "the peace that passes understanding" as she prepares for her death, to sit with a grieving gogo as she realizes her new responsibility of parenting her orphaned grandchildren...the only thing that can get anyone through those times is trusting in the sovereignty of God and the eternal hope that we have in Christ.
As I go, I hope to be used by God to pour into them, pray for them, teach them, and encourage them as if they were a terminally ill child in the hospital...because they are...statistics have given them only 25 more years to live at most. Yet I go hopeful, because as we trust in what Christ did for us on the cross, we can cling to the promise that

"the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away...for He is making all things new."
(Revelation 21:3-5)

This world is temporary because we were created for another world with unhindered intimacy with the God of the universe...and we can begin to live in that now!

Visiting Orphans

What effect does it have on your longings when you think that God says “true religion” is to “visit orphans”?

The effect that it has on me it to make me want to love like Jesus loved and not always be thinking of earthly payoff. Face it, a few kids are cute, but most street kids will be thankless, rude, dirty, diseased, scar-faced, shifty-eyed, lice infested, suspicious, with bad smells and rotten teeth. If we minister mainly for the earthly payoff, we will burn out in a year.

Jesus did not say, “True religion is converting orphans.” He did not say, “True religion is making orphans mature and successful adults.” He said, “True religion is visiting orphans.” Results are God’s business. Obedience is ours. Perhaps when we grasp this, we will be freed from our earth-bound way of thinking and released to minister to the ones who are least likely to thank us.
~ J. Piper (www.desiringgod.org)

Go From....Go To

A lot of people have asked how God has called me to this place in life of going back to Swaziland, so here's the abbreviated version of it.
In October of 2008, I was running one evening after work and God revealed to me at that time that I was going to be stepping down from my full time ministry position. It wasn’t an “if” anymore, but a “when”. During that same run, He led me to think of Genesis 12:1 “Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house and go to the land that I will show you.’” Little did I know at the time how God would bring that verse to reality in my life! Over then next 3 years, God led me out of that full time position, brought Swaziland to the forefront of my mind (when before I never knew it was a country), led me to spend time serving Him in there, and even had me spend 3 months of my life helping pack up our family farm to move off the land. And now here I am almost exactly 3 years later, preparing to go over to Africa for several weeks in order to continue praying about what it might look like to serve full time on the mission field.
As I go from my father's land to a land that God has shown me, my trust is in the unchanging One who is sovereign over all times & places.

Long Time, No Blog....But That's Changing

It has been a long time since I have blogged, not because I haven’t had anything to write about, but because it has been so much stuff that has been so close to my heart! Someone once said, “I write while I learn, I learn while I write” and that has been true in my journals and my relationship with God, but for the past 6 months, those things that He has been teaching me have been intense and at times left me too tender to process with anyone except for Him. One of my biggest struggles with blogging is that I don’t want to put out there for all to see some of the things that God has done in my heart that are to stay just between Him & I. Luke 1:66, 2:19, and 2:51 all talk about people laying things up in their hearts, pondering them in their hearts, storing them in their hearts as the miraculous event of God becoming flesh in the baby Jesus was occurring. As God has led me through processing a few specific things in the last 6 months, my heart has been tender because of it and not ready to share. But as I move forward into this next season of life, I want to begin to share through this blog for a few reasons.
~ To give you a glimpse of the ways that God is revealing His faithfulness & character through my life, so that you might praise Him also.
~ To let people know what’s going on in my life and how you can be praying.
~ To tell the story of how God is working out His redemptive love in tangible ways for His glory.