Helping With Heavy Burdens

I have climbed over 17,000 ft passes, I have carried a 50 lb backpack for many weeks through the mountains, I have run half marathons, and I used to consider myself fairly strong...until today. I saw a young girl filling her two water jugs here at the center, and thought I would be nice and offer to help her carry them back to her homestead. I have done this before, but not a container this big. I helped her lift the first container to her head, wishing I had a different way to carry the container I would carry. From my estimation, I would guess there were at least 8 gallons of water in each container (and if I remember right, water weighs 7-8 lbs per gallon), meaning that we were carrying at least 56 lbs of water each. Which may not seem like much except for that the handle of the container was about a quarter of an inch wide, digging into my hand even as I picked up the container for the first time.
So we started the walk to her homestead, about a quarter of a mile away. Within the first 20 yards, my hand was screaming because the pull on my fingers was too much for that small strip of plastic called a handle. She was carrying on a conversation, while balancing the container on her head, while I struggled with each step with my water. When we were about a third of the way there, I realized that it was going to take a lot more than I thought to get the water to her house. My only method of continuing on to her house was to walk about 30 steps with the container in one hand, stop, set it down, switch hands and walk another 30 steps. Throughout the walk I apologized to her for being so slow & having such a hard time. She responded with, “it’s ok. You’re helping me.” Those few words spoke so deep in my heart.
As we continued walking to her homestead, I realized that her words were more than a response to my carrying water, but they were a word from God. There have been many burdens I have seen in the last several weeks, that are too overwhelming to begin to think about carrying, and I can’t comprehend how people do it on a day to day basis. I have struggled with having too high of expectations of myself in entering another culture to serve alongside of what God is doing. Many times I have tried to take on burdens that are much more than I’m meant to carry & I’ve tried to be the savior that no mere human is meant to be. But in these few words from this young girl, it was a reminder that God didn’t call me to carry these burdens, but to introduce people to the One who wants to carry their burdens. He hasn’t called me to be any kind of savior, but rather to point people to the true Savior. And He reminded me that it’s ok that I am slow & make mistakes because this is His thing that He’s doing (and has been doing for thousands of years)...and He’s been generous enough to let me walk with Him in this and somehow help Him in this place for this season.

Guess How Much I Love You?

To say that this weekend was a difficult one is an understatement. The reality of the statistics of Swaziland have hit too close to home...with the ways that AIDS & the orphan crisis are defining this country. I had tried to prepare myself as well as I could for the all night vigil & then funeral for Gogo Lily...which is difficult in so many ways. But I was able to stay awake all night & followed along fairly well for the 9 hours, even though it was all in Siswati. It is a difficult thing to sit in grief for that long & to walk slowly through the process of saying goodbye & burying a casket. We have made it far too easy in America & go through it so quickly! To sit and watch all day as people dig the grave on the homestead, to see them prepare the food for the meal, to think through logistics of how to light up the area for finishing the digging at night, to hear the sounds of 300 people singing as a casket is carried across the homestead, to see the men of the area taking turns to shovel dirt into the grave, to see the women of the area gather rocks for marking the grave...overwhelming is an understatement!
But the thing I wasn't prepared for was the rest of the day after the funeral, once the family & friends had gone back to their homes. I got home from the funeral (which was right outside my fence) at about 6:30am on Sunday & took a quick nap. When I got up I tried to have a normal morning before church starting (at the team house where I live, so sleeping wasn't an option). After church I slept another hour or so before being woken up by a knock on the door. It was 3 of the girls who live next door & were taken care of by Gogo Lily. Throughout the afternoon they stayed around (as we do most weekends), coloring, sleeping on the concrete & singing. I was wishing I could communicate more with them but knew that they needed my presence more than anything else I had to offer that afternoon. I was trying not to think too much about what life would be like for these girls & the rest of the seven kids that Gogo Lily cared for, but God wanted me to think about it. To think of the reality of a 13 year old cooking for the other children, to think of all of them sleeping alone in a building, away from the other adults on their homestead. To wonder who would do their laundry, cook their food, pay their school fees, and look after them on a daily basis. God wanted me to sit in this pain and reality...and it was uncomfortable.
One of the girls asked if there were any books to read, so I went & grabbed a stack of children's books inside. But I lost it when the first book she pulled out of the stack was "Guess How Much I Love You?" The book is about a couple of rabbits, where the mother is reminding the child how much she loves it. Tears started flowing as I let the depth of this reality hit me...these kids didn't have parents who had shown them love in tangible ways or even were around on a daily basis. They wouldn't ever have biological parents to read a simple children's book like this to them, and they had just lost the woman who had shown them parental love for their lives up to this point. As the tears flowed down my cheeks, my heart was broken at a new level for these kids. But then, out of nowhere, one of the girls started singing, "Jesus loves me, this I know". God was reminding me that even though these kids won't ever know the love of a biological parent, they can know the love of the Father and, as hard as it is to believe, that is more than enough to transform their lives. And as we walk forward in these days, praying and talking about what roles God is calling His people to take in this difficult situation, I am reminded that He is their true Father and loves them much more than any human ever could. Guess how much He loves us...

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father...so that you may have strength to comprehend what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge."
Ephesians 3:17-19

A Tale Of Two Josephs

In Swaziland, the widows & orphans are the majority of the population, and get talked about the most. But God has brought me into contact with two men named Joseph that He is using here in Swaziland. The first is Ntombi’s father (read about her story here), whom I first met two years ago. He is a hard-working farmer who cares for his adult daughter with disabilities. He has built his homestead on the lower part of the mountain, overlooking miles of valleys. Baboons have stolen the corn out of his fields, but it is evident within a few minutes of being on their homestead that he is working hard to provide for his family. He has built silos for his corn, has several animals on the property, including donkeys, goats, chickens, and pigs. When I saw him again this fall (after two years since last seeing him), he recognized me & thanked us for coming again to check on his daughter.

The other Joseph has had an equally hard time in life, wishing he could change his circumstances. As we were driving to see him today, asking if this was his homestead, one of the ministry partners said, “he doesn’t have a homestead, just this house here.” We pulled up in front of a stick & mud hut with a corrugated metal roof. The huts are made of sticks, with mud on it to fill in the gaps. As we were talking, the door to the hut was open & I realized that I could see in the hut & right out the back because there were so many holes where the rain had washed the mud away. The hut, where this Joseph & his son live, was about 10 feet by 10 feet square. This man brought out 3 buckets for the men to sit on while we visited & a piece of metal leaning up against the hut caught my eye. Upon further inspection, this 5 foot piece of corrugated metal had been leaned up against the hut so that they could cook outside with wind protection. Joseph had been a single father for most of his son’s life, since his wife passed away. He had fled from Mozambique during the war, settling in Swaziland. He worked for a couple of companies until an accident at work left him with a debilitating head injury. Since then, he and his son have survived day to day trusting in the Lord’s provision.

These Josephs struck my heart, because like so many other Swazis, they are living faithfully day by day in the midst of hard circumstances. It reminds me of Joseph, in Genesis, who lived faithfully day by day as a servant, in prison, and in power in Egypt, trusting in God’s sovereignty over his circumstances. I don’t know if either Swaziland Joseph’s life will get any easier, but I can say with confidence (and I’m sure that they would agree), that though this world has brought many evils into their lives, “God meant it for good” and will bring His glory to shine even in the hardest of circumstances.

Make A Joyful Noise To The Lord, All The Earth

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth.(Psalm 100:1) The flowers of the field cry to be heard, the trees of the forest are singing, and all of creation with one voice, will join in the chorus of this world.”

I remember the first time I walked into a church service overseas. I had no idea what people were saying or singing, but as soon as they sang, tears welled up in my eyes. The passion in their voices reminded me that God has created EVERYTHING and EVERYONE to worship Him, and that one day all will uninhibitedly worship Him.
This morning, as I sit here with my coffee, I am once again overwhelmed by the voices of the school kids down the road singing in their morning assembly. It's not even 8am, but I am challenged as to how God is calling me to make a joyful noise to Him today, especially as I listen further to the ways that this part of the earth is making a joyful noise to the Lord, this is what I hear:
~chickens, donkeys, turkeys, birds making their noises
~cows & donkeys walking down the dirt road
~the school bell ringing at weird intervals
~preschoolers playing and saying good morning
~people walking and running through the gravel outside of my door
~a kid who found a whistle out on the playground
~wheelbarrows being pushed across the gravel to the spigot to fill up containers with water
~trucks full of sugar cane turning on the road
~tractors going up & down the dirt road
~the door & gate squeaking in the wind
~people talking on homesteads quite a ways away
~workers loading things onto trailers across the road
~laughter of kids playing outside
~preschoolers singing "Jesus Loves The Little Children" at the preschool

“Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Let this be recorded for a generation to come, so that a people yet to be created may praise the Lord.”
(Psalm 100:3-4, 102:18)

Strangely Dim

There is an old chorus that God has repeatedly used to shape my heart over the last few years...

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

I have spent a lot of time meditating on that phrase “strangely dim” and have seen how it fleshes itself out around the world. If we are turning our eyes to Christ, our material possessions, worldly experiences, selfish ambitions pale in comparison to Him. And the suffering, trials, and temptations we go through are still horrible, but not quite as bad in light of knowing Christ and focusing on Him.
I came across these two quotes along the same line of thinking as well, encouraging us to keep our eyes focused on Christ, no matter what our circumstances are.

“The highest of missionary motive is neither obedience to the Great Commission (important as that is), nor love for sinners who are alienated and perishing (strong as that incentive is, especially when we contemplate the wrath of God), but rather zeal — burning and passionate zeal — for the glory of Jesus Christ. . . . Only one imperialism is Christian . . . and that is concern for His Imperial Majesty Jesus Christ, and for the glory of his empire.”
~John Stott

“Let us live in the constant contemplation of the glory of Christ, and virtue will proceed from him to repair all our decays, to renew a right spirit within us, and to cause us to abound in all duties of obedience. . .
It will fix the soul unto that object which is suited to give it delight, complacency, and satisfaction. . . when the mind is filled with thoughts of Christ and his glory, when the soul thereon cleaves unto him with intense affections, they will cast out, or not give admittance unto, those causes of spiritual weakness and indisposition. . .
And nothing will so much excite and encourage our souls hereunto as a constant view of Christ and his glory.”
~John Owen

Ntombi: A Girl

On our way home this afternoon, I asked what Ntombi’s name meant because I am intrigued by the meanings of so many words & names here in Swaziland. The answer was “a girl”. A simple name that just means “a girl” but Ntombi was more than a girl to me & she is precious in the eyes of God.
The first time I met Ntombi was two years ago, when I thought she was a young boy. She didn’t have great fine motor skills, she couldn’t talk very well, and she was very dirty. She had come to see a visiting doctor at the carepoint because of a wound on her foot. We invited her to eat with the kids at the carepoint, and she had trouble holding the spoon to eat. We took her home that day (she was ELATED to ride in a car) to see if there were ways we could help further. What we found out was that Ntombi wasn’t a young boy, but rather a 48 year old woman. She was healthy her whole life up until around 1996, when something happened to make her the way she is now (almost like she had a stroke, but it affects both sides of her body). The wound on her foot was from when she accidentally stepped in the fire, around 1996...and it still wasn’t healed in 2009.
For the past two years, God has kept Ntombi (and her hard working father, Joseph, and her two children) on my heart. He has given me dreams about her & revealed specific ways for me to be praying.
Today we had extra time at the carepoint by her house, so I asked if we could stop by to see her. I was preparing myself for anything - her to be in worse shape, her to have passed away, her to be totally healed...but what I hadn’t prepared myself for was that she would be about the same. When we walked up to the homestead, her daughter went inside to get Joseph. I was looking around the homestead when I heard her say “Yebo, sisi”. I hadn’t seen her sitting in the shade of one of the buildings, on a mat, and I hadn’t ever heard her speak so clearly. When I went to shake her hand, she didn’t let go of mine, and when I asked if she remembered me she said that my face was not new to her.
We sat and talked with she & her father for a while, but the thing that kept getting me was her foot. It still hadn’t healed from two years ago. Then it was about the size of a quarter, and fairly superficial, but today there were two wounds, about the size of a tennis ball, indenting so far into her swollen foot that her toes were now deformed. Flies were in and around the wounds and I couldn’t help but wonder how she hadn’t already died from infection.
We offered to bring her down to the clinic & her father said yes, but she needed to change first. She went and changed into one of the nicest dresses I’ve seen in Swaziland (something my mom would have worn for Easter about 1988) and then was ready to go. Her father had built her a crutch out of a branch, but she wouldn’t be able to walk to the car. I drove it up their “driveway” and then Celimphilo carried her to the car.
When we got to the clinic, the nurse was asking about the wound and when I told him it was more than 15 years old, he didn’t question it at all. He was able to clean her foot & bandage it up, as well as give us enough supplies for her to keep cleaning & bandaging it over the next several weeks.
I can’t help but wonder at the rest of the story - how she ended up this way, why she hasn’t been able to keep the wound clean, what she was like before, how this illness has affected her relationships with her children & her father. It’s one of those times when I look forward to heaven, where she and I can sit down over coffee and speak the same language, without mental disability and catch up on all the Lord has done in her life. But for now I will trust that God knows her heart & her every need & has kept her on my heart & in my prayers for a reason.

As You Are Going

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.”
~Matthew 28:19-20

There have been many commentaries that spend a lot of time talking about the form of the verb “to go” in the Great Commission, focusing on the “go” or translating it “as you are going” but God has impressed it on my heart in a new way these last few weeks as I have been in Swaziland. In this new ministry context, I have had to be creative about discipleship and conversations with people as I am going.
In the US, our discipleship is centered around food...think about it - you meet at a coffee shop for Bible study, you have people over for prayer & dessert, you invite people over for dinner to invest in their lives. But how do you do discipleship in a culture where many of the people only eat one meal a day? And where people don't have money for those types of things, let alone transportation or even coffee shops?!
I have had to get creative about the ways I am pouring into people, being intentional about who I invite with me as I run an errand, being intentional about what we talk about while carrying out mundane tasks. And God is stretching me to grow in this way.
Last week, a few of my most significant spiritual conversations with people were while waiting at the hospital, while driving 30 minutes to a care point, while ringing out laundry, while waiting for glass to be cut at the hardware store, while shopping for groceries.
Who are you taking time to pour in to as you are going?

A Day In The Life

It’s been amazing to me how quickly I readjusted to life here in Swaziland. At times, it seemed like the transition from the US to Africa was easier than the transition from urban to rural! I wish I could upload pictures to walk you through the day, but words will have to do.
Usually a few minutes before my alarm goes off, I wake up to the sound of roosters and donkeys outside. I get up & get dressed, and head outside to open the gate and then burn the trash out back before the preschoolers start arriving. School aged kids in uniforms are walking to school, tractors & buses are passing by, and uniformed preschoolers start coming onto the center’s property....and it’s now about 6:45. There are some mornings where there isn’t water so I have to go over and flip the switch on the pump to fill the storage tank. I sit & drink coffee & have my quiet time with the door open while the preschoolers walk by, waving and saying hello.
About 9:15 all of the ministry partners arrive & we have our prayer & meeting time to talk about what ministry looks like for that day. It would be great to plan ahead, but nearly impossible because of all of the things going on! Mornings are usually spent at a care point or two, where they cook & feed many children, teach a preschool lesson, and a Bible lesson. We come back to the center for lunch, followed by afternoon work on projects, doing kids club, or doing home visits. Throughout the day, it’s not unusual to chase goats away from the garden & donkeys off the property (and sometimes chickens out of the team house). After school, many people come to the center - to play soccer, volleyball, or to hang out. A couple of the girls have come over to hang out and start teaching me some Siswati (which is entertaining for all of us!) Usually a couple of the high school students (ranging in age up into their mid 20’s) come by to get help with their school work, stretching my memory and my math skills to remember back to what I learned in 8th grade. As it gets dark, we herd the donkeys out one last time (or else they will be the alarm clock again in the morning), lock the gate & shut the windows before the bugs start coming in toward the lights.

Born: Alive Male

That’s what the papers said when she & her baby were being discharged from the hospital on Thursday. Most important thing first - alive, and secondary to that, "it's a boy!" It struck me as odd at first, but with all of the poverty issues in rural Swaziland, I don’t even want to imagine how many babies are stillborn. I continued to read through the paperwork as the hospital administrator calculated the costs for this new mom, who had spent one night in the hospital. I was wondering if they would charge more since a white person was there to pick her up, and I was thinking about friends of mine who have recently had babies in the US and how many thousands of dollars that had cost. I knew that it probably wasn’t going to cost over 100 Rand (about 13 US Dollars), but was completely shocked when the administrator told me it would be 30 Rand (just over 4 US Dollars). Granted, she did have to pay the admittance fee the day before (about $2) and we were stopping by the pharmacy next to get a few types of pills for her to take (about $.50 worth)...which still only brings us up to a total of about $6.50 for this woman to deliver her baby in a hospital and stay the night! We got all of the pills, picked up her bag, and found she and her brand new baby boy (wrapped in the towel/diaper & blanket she brought with her from home). As she got in the back seat of my car, holding her newborn baby, I buckled my seatbelt (which seemed wrong if a newborn wasn’t going to be in a car seat!), and reflected back on how I had gotten to be in this situation.
On Tuesday morning, a couple of ministry partners & I were going up to the carepoint to give the teacher her lessons for the week. As we pulled into through the gate, we could see this young pregnant woman laying on her side in the shade. She was laying on a woven grass mat in the dirt, up against the corrugated tin sided cooking shelter. She looked uncomfortable, obviously towards the end of her pregnancy. As we asked questions, we found out that she is 26 years old and this would be her fourth child. Leaving the carepoint later that morning, we wished her well during these last weeks of pregnancy.
The next morning, we got word that she had gone into labor during the night & wanted to go to the hospital to deliver. As we went to pick her up, I followed a rough dirt road until it wasn’t really a road anymore, but just well-worn foot paths. I turned into the gate of her property, and saw in front of me a humble (to say the least) homestead. Her house was made of mud and sticks and about 10 feet by 10 feet, and not quite tall enough for me to stand up straight in. On the left side of it, was an outdoor cooking structure. We drove up closer to her house, and there were about 4 or 5 women around, some sitting, some working. As they were getting her up off the bed, we asked if she had money for the hospital, and the neighbor lady replied that she had enough to take care of it. This 26 year old woman had lost both of her parents, and the baby’s father wasn’t taking care of her, but her neighbor was.
We pulled away from her homestead, trying to go slowly enough that the bumpy dirt road wouldn’t bother her, but her moaning continued. I decided that I could multitask & started timing her contractions (based on her moans) while driving down the dirt road. From what I could tell, they were about 3 minutes apart, which led me to start thinking of how we could deliver a baby on the side of the road using only what I had in the car!
Thankfully, we made it to the paved road and then were able to drive to the hospital about 45 minutes from her homestead. We got her into the matenity (yep, that’s how they spell it) ward, and her son was born less than 45 minutes later!
They admitted her for the night, so first thing the next morning, we went back to pick her up & take her home. She had named her son Lindane, which means “taken care of”. Thankfully that’s how he entered this world - taken care of by his mother, who was taken care of by her neighbor. And God willing, that’s how he will continue to live and grow in a nation which seems to have been abandoned, he will be a reminder that God has and will bring people alongside of he & his mom to take care of him.

When I'm 64...

If I remember right, there is a line in that Beatles’ song that says, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?” For some reason that is the song that has come to mind for the last few days as I have gone over to visit Gogo (Grandma) Lily. Gogo Lily is one of my closest neighbors here in Swaziland and had a stroke this summer. Because there isn’t health care here, to provide nursing care, physical therapy, etc. she is left totally dependent on her family on her homestead and whomever else God will provide to take care of her. She has not been able to walk on her own since the stroke, and so she spends most of the days in bed or sitting on the floor by her bed. God has provided for her in a huge way, in the fact that this past month one of the visiting team members from the US was a occupational therapist, who had worked in geriatrics. While she was here for 3 weeks, she was able to find a walker in the community that wasn’t being used. She brought that to Gogo Lily’s every day and started working with her to get her walking again. Gogo Lily has slowly regained her balance and strength, where she could go from one side of the room to the other with the walker, and we have now progressed to where she can go up and down the outside step to her house.
As she continues to progress in her walking, it is great to see how valuable she is to her family still. Her 1 year old granddaughter still naps on a mat in her house, and many of the grandchildren come in and out all day long.
It is hard for me to imagine being in Gogo Lily’s place, totally dependent on the people around me and strangers from around the world to care for me and help me to walk again. But because God is in the equation, yes, Gogo Lily, we still need you and we will still feed you...when you’re 64 (or older)!

Day 1

It’s taken me a few days to get over jet-lag & to get used to being back in Africa, but the first day made me jump right into the deep end instead of wading in over a few days! Here’s just an abbreviated time line:

2:30am - wake up from jet lag & have a great early prayer time
4:30am - get up
6:30am - leave Johannesburg
8:30am - stop for breakfast at a wild west/Indian themed restaurant in a gas station with rhinos out back
11:34am - see billboard that advertises fencing that is made by 97% Swazi men
11:45am - get a little too close to a bus as we head into Manzini
11:46am - realize the driver in the other bus was coming close to try to warn us of the protests downtown (it’s bad, it’s bad, it’s bad)
11:47am - hold on as our large van & FULL trailer make a u-turn on a 4 lane highway over a raised median
11:55am - praise God for the bus driver who warned us about the protests as we see another bus with its windshield smashed in
12:20pm - stop at an Italian restaurant for lunch & to find out what’s going on
1:45pm - run into a guy from California who tries to sell us the fencing that’s made by 97% Swazis - I guess he’s the other 3%?
2:15pm - go around town & enter on the back roads to avoid downtown
2:45pm - drop of team of no-longer strangers that I traveled with from Atlanta
3:15pm - go with Elliott to drop off the van & pick up the car I will be driving (and say a prayer that I remember how to drive in Swaziland...& find myself quoting Home Alone “This is it, don’t get scared now!”)
3:30pm - take car downtown (it was safe for those who aren’t in vans) to get fixed tire back on & put spare in trunk
3:45pm - watch several grown Swazi men stand in a pick up truck to see the protests going on over a wall in the next block
4:10pm - Elliott says “you’re in Africa now, you must check the car often” and shows me the quirks of the car I will be driving
4:34pm - fill car with petrol & drive the back way out of town & down to Nsoko (dodging people, cows, goats & sugar cane trucks along the way)
5:19pm - saw hand pedaled tricycle on side of the road
5:45pm - drove through police checkpoint, thankful that I didn’t have to stop
6:02pm - arrive at the team house to meet the 6 strangers I will be living with for the next week
6:45pm - joined them to eat breakfast for dinner
7:45pm - went to room to journal & read before bed
8:05pm - new roommate comes to talk
8:30pm - back to journaling
9:15pm - fall asleep convincing myself that I really am in Africa & everything did just happen in less than 24 hours

Time Warp: 8 Hours Ahead & 100 Years Behind

Even though Swaziland is 8 hours ahead in time, I often feel like I am entering a time warp and going back 100 years in time as I go there. Seeing people plow fields with horse drawn plows, houses without plumbing or electricity, doing laundry by hand makes me think more about my ancestors who first settled in the United States. But I find that it makes me question who is more developed & who has made all the progress, and for what. I realize this is oversimplifying things, and there are huge ways that our technology & progress have helped the world, but I often wonder if we suffer from some type of chronological elitism....where we think we are better or smarter than those who lived 150 years before us. Or than those who live in the majority developing world, similar to the US 150 years ago. I really think that a majority of us in the United States are really just lazy and unintelligent, relying on the technology that a few really smart people have developed over the last few centuries. I mean, really, if you were without power, indoor plumbing, phone service, a car, and an education, how would you survive?
The ironic thing is that the more “progressive” & somewhat trendy cultures within the US are trying to be more like the majority developing world, without even knowing it. We have programs to help people walk & bike to work, people are intentionally trying to get to know their neighbors that they’ve never talked to or needed to talk to, we are reusing containers instead of throwing them away, we are using real bags to carry stuff instead of plastic ones, we are reselling clothes so that they can be worn until they actually wear out, we are saving energy by hanging our clothes outside instead of using a dryer, we are having more and more babies at home every year.
So maybe Swaziland is really 8 hours ahead, 100 years behind, and 50 years ahead...

Same Planet, Different World

Before I left, my 4 year old nephew & I were talking about the long plane ride I would take & how far away I would be. At one point, he asked me if I was going to fly close by the moon on my way to Africa. While it seems like an absurd question, it really isn’t that far off....for as different as some things about the cultures are, we might as well be on different planets! As I was flying over the Atlantic ocean, I was praying for the Swazi people & thinking about several who I want to spend time with while I’m here. I was imagining them walking to get water, standing over a fire cooking, sleeping on the mats on the floors of their houses....and at the same time I overheard two flight attendants telling each other the football scores that they had just gotten text messages about. I can’t even comprehend the technology that makes airplanes fly, let alone what all is involved behind international text messaging....and knew I was going to a different world!

Here For You

As I have talked to various people about this trip, I have heard comments about how great it is what I am doing for myself by going on this adventure, how great it is that I am going to serve the Swazi people, and I was saddened by these well-meaning Christians who have lost the focus on why we do what we do. This song has been my prayer for this trip and is a great reminder that whether we are serving our loved ones at home, in ministry in the US, or overseas somewhere, the ultimate reality for every Christian is that we are here (wherever that may be) for Him alone...all else (that others & we ourselves are blessed through serving) is icing on the cake!

Let our praise be Your welcome, let our songs be a sign
We are here for You, we are here for You
Let Your breath come from heaven, fill our hearts with Your life
We are here for You, we are here for You
To You our hearts are open, nothing here is hidden, You are our one desire
You alone are holy, only You are worthy, God let Your fire fall down

Let our shout be Your anthem, Your renown fill the skies
We are here for You, we are here for You
Let Your word move in power, let what’s dead come to life
We are here for You, we are here for You
To You our hearts are open, nothing here is hidden, You are our one desire
You alone are holy, only You are worthy, God let Your fire fall down
To You our hearts are open, nothing here is hidden, You are our one desire
You alone are holy, only You are worthy, God let Your fire fall down
We are here for You, Jesus,

We welcome You with praise, we welcome You with praise, almighty God of love, be welcome in this place
We welcome You with praise, we welcome You with praise, almighty God of love, be welcome in this place
Let every heart adore, let every soul awake, Almighty God of love, be welcome in this place
We welcome You with praise, we welcome You with praise, almighty God of love, be welcome in this place

Be welcome...be welcome...come and take Your rightful place.

My Prayer For You As I Go...

The view from the plane as we come over the African Coast at Namibia.

"What I finally came to as I walked and prayed for you is the old, old story of getting the gospel clear in your own hearts and minds, making it clear to others, and doing it with only one motive — the glory of Christ. Getting the glory of Christ before your eyes and keeping it there is the greatest work of the Spirit that I can imagine. And there is no greater peace, especially in the times of treadmill-like activity, than doing it all for the glory of the Lord Jesus."
~Heart of a Servant Leader: Letters from Jack Miller

Wealthy King + Impoverished People = ???

The juxtaposition of wealth and poverty in Swaziland is incomprehensible. A king who builds elaborate palaces for all of his wives just minutes from people who eat grass or go hungry on a regular basis. There have been articles recently about how rich the king really is, and also about how the poverty is impacting the most helpless - the children. In the deepest parts of us, there is an outcry, wanting someone to do more to reconcile this great abyss between the rich and poor. After all, what is the right response to take care of these people?
Yet this lack of action & compassion in this reality on the other side of the world stands in contrast to another king. A King who has much more than any earthly king could ever imagine, a King who has no obligation to share His wealth, riches, or glory with anyone. A King who looks upon an impoverished people who are dying in their own messes, totally helpless to do anything for themselves, and who often don't even know how bad of shape they are in. And this King, who doesn't have to do anything, does the unimaginable. He goes & pays the ultimate price to buy back these people, sacrificing His own wealth and comfort in order to provide for them what they could never earn.
The situation in Swaziland makes the extravagant love of God through Jesus Christ stand out even more. That while we were dead in our sin, totally unable to save ourselves, in a worse situation than we even knew, God lavished His graces upon us, knowing we could never earn it or even begin to pay Him back.

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of
His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ."
~Ephesians 1:7-9

Reality Check...Another Look At Swaziland Statistics

I recently read that if you are a 15 year old in Swaziland, your chances of living to the age of 32 are 6%! SIX PERCENT!!! Translated...that means your chances of dying before you turn 32 are 94%. You are probably more likely to be struck by lightning or attacked by a hippo than live to be 32 if you live in Swaziland...all because of the AIDS crisis. Of the 900,000 people in the country, the orphan population is closing in on 200,000. And half of all 20 somethings have AIDS already. But the one that hits me hardest is the first statistic....6 %!
To put this into perspective, there are about 300 kids at the school across from where I will be staying. We have just been given permission to go over each week to teach these elementary aged kids about God's love...but reality is still there. According to that first statistic, only about 18 of those kids will live to be 32...meaning that 282 of the kids I will be spending time with this fall will probably die of AIDS (or some disease like TB resulting from a weakened immune system) before they are my age! God, have mercy!
So what has God called us to do in this seemingly hopeless situation? Without wanting to be too morbid or a Debbie-downer, the thing that I keep coming back to is that we must prepare them for eternity. Yes, we can encourage them in school, help them set goals, encourage them to dream about their future, provide them with food, clothes, and school supplies...but we must balance that with the reality that some experts have said that with the current birth/death rates the way they are, Swaziland won't exist by 2050 because AIDS will have ravaged it beyond repair. And James' words come ringing true to my ears....

"What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes"
(James 4:14).

And for children in Swaziland, this verse describes the frailty of life all around them, that they will be looking at death and eternity all too soon.
So as I go this weekend...prepared to love on the kids and the gogos ("grandmas" that cook, teach, and care for the kids at the carepoints), as well as those I will meet through house visits and other projects...in the back of my mind I will be thinking about the best gift that I can give them...the gift of the Gospel that we have been entrusted with. As much as I anticipate seeing their joyful faces when they receive any material possessions or food, the look on their faces when they realize they can have eternal peace and be with the Lord beyond this world is beyond description. To look in the face of a 28 year old woman who has "the peace that passes understanding" as she prepares for her death, to sit with a grieving gogo as she realizes her new responsibility of parenting her orphaned grandchildren...the only thing that can get anyone through those times is trusting in the sovereignty of God and the eternal hope that we have in Christ.
As I go, I hope to be used by God to pour into them, pray for them, teach them, and encourage them as if they were a terminally ill child in the hospital...because they are...statistics have given them only 25 more years to live at most. Yet I go hopeful, because as we trust in what Christ did for us on the cross, we can cling to the promise that

"the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away...for He is making all things new."
(Revelation 21:3-5)

This world is temporary because we were created for another world with unhindered intimacy with the God of the universe...and we can begin to live in that now!

Visiting Orphans

What effect does it have on your longings when you think that God says “true religion” is to “visit orphans”?

The effect that it has on me it to make me want to love like Jesus loved and not always be thinking of earthly payoff. Face it, a few kids are cute, but most street kids will be thankless, rude, dirty, diseased, scar-faced, shifty-eyed, lice infested, suspicious, with bad smells and rotten teeth. If we minister mainly for the earthly payoff, we will burn out in a year.

Jesus did not say, “True religion is converting orphans.” He did not say, “True religion is making orphans mature and successful adults.” He said, “True religion is visiting orphans.” Results are God’s business. Obedience is ours. Perhaps when we grasp this, we will be freed from our earth-bound way of thinking and released to minister to the ones who are least likely to thank us.
~ J. Piper (www.desiringgod.org)

Go From....Go To

A lot of people have asked how God has called me to this place in life of going back to Swaziland, so here's the abbreviated version of it.
In October of 2008, I was running one evening after work and God revealed to me at that time that I was going to be stepping down from my full time ministry position. It wasn’t an “if” anymore, but a “when”. During that same run, He led me to think of Genesis 12:1 “Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house and go to the land that I will show you.’” Little did I know at the time how God would bring that verse to reality in my life! Over then next 3 years, God led me out of that full time position, brought Swaziland to the forefront of my mind (when before I never knew it was a country), led me to spend time serving Him in there, and even had me spend 3 months of my life helping pack up our family farm to move off the land. And now here I am almost exactly 3 years later, preparing to go over to Africa for several weeks in order to continue praying about what it might look like to serve full time on the mission field.
As I go from my father's land to a land that God has shown me, my trust is in the unchanging One who is sovereign over all times & places.

Long Time, No Blog....But That's Changing

It has been a long time since I have blogged, not because I haven’t had anything to write about, but because it has been so much stuff that has been so close to my heart! Someone once said, “I write while I learn, I learn while I write” and that has been true in my journals and my relationship with God, but for the past 6 months, those things that He has been teaching me have been intense and at times left me too tender to process with anyone except for Him. One of my biggest struggles with blogging is that I don’t want to put out there for all to see some of the things that God has done in my heart that are to stay just between Him & I. Luke 1:66, 2:19, and 2:51 all talk about people laying things up in their hearts, pondering them in their hearts, storing them in their hearts as the miraculous event of God becoming flesh in the baby Jesus was occurring. As God has led me through processing a few specific things in the last 6 months, my heart has been tender because of it and not ready to share. But as I move forward into this next season of life, I want to begin to share through this blog for a few reasons.
~ To give you a glimpse of the ways that God is revealing His faithfulness & character through my life, so that you might praise Him also.
~ To let people know what’s going on in my life and how you can be praying.
~ To tell the story of how God is working out His redemptive love in tangible ways for His glory.