Perspective

I am a few days past wrapping up some of the busiest 6 months of my life, with teams coming and going, many special medical needs cases in our children, the normal day to day ministry of overseeing 10 carepoints, hosting 6 interns, overseeing a building project, harvesting our normal gardens, overseeing our community garden, and I have to admit I am tired!  Physically I am tired from getting up at 5am to drive construction workers to the sites, or staying out past 9pm having dinners with teams.  I am tired from unloading hundreds of concrete blocks and 50kg bags of cement (yes, I did lift with my legs).  It sounds trivial, but I am tired of restaurant food with teams, of peanut butter & jelly, and of people getting so excited over a grapetizer.  Honestly, I am tired of people (yep, once an introvert, always an introvert!)

But I have nothing to complain about.  

Spiritually, God has been refreshing me and sustaining me in ways I couldn’t have imagined possible 4 months ago.  I have lived the verse from Isaiah 58 which says, “If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.  And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail."

Physically, God has more than sustained me - I have been around hundreds of Swazi people and over 150 Americans, and God has protected me from getting even a cold or sinus infection.  He has given me energy to go every day, and that energy can only come from Him because if it was my own strength, it would have run out in May!

Still I have nothing to complain about.

I have missed my family a ton this year, watching my newest niece grow from 2 days when I left to over 6 months now, all through pictures instead of in person.  I have missed weddings & funerals, graduations, baby showers & birthdays.

  

Yet I have nothing to complain about.

God has sustained me & given me perspective through an amazing verse since my time away from Colorado in 2011..."Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory."  

EVERYTHING. 

Therefore I endure EVERYTHING... 

Therefore I endure                                ...

Therefore I endure early mornings with construction workers & late nights with teams...

Therefore I endure busy days full of people, when I am an introvert...

Therefore I endure endless peanut butter & jelly sandwiches...

Therefore I endure being away from family & friends during monumental stages in their lives and mine...

Therefore I endure no Mexican food...

Therefore I endure wearing a skirt every day...

Therefore I endure living in a community where I don't understand most of the language...

Therefore I endure standing out like a sore thumb because of my skin color...

Therefore I endure temporary community as more than 150 Americans travel through Nsoko in 6 months to serve, making friends & having them leave...

Therefore I endure no fresh peaches, raspberries, sweet corn, summer barbeques with family, backpacking trips...

Still I can't complain.

Last week, as I was reflecting on the last few months, a friend of mine had coffee with a man who was heading back to an Asian country to face a prison sentence and most likely torture.  TORTURE.  For sharing the Gospel.  This man had already been tortured beyond what I can imagine in various ways, including having his fingernails pulled off...because he shared the Gospel.  It makes my missing Mexican food & family parties seem a little trivial.  There are difficult days when I have to remind myself of the end goal of why God has called me to Swaziland, and I pray that I would have the strength to say that yes, even I would endure having my fingernails pulled out "for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory."  It definitely puts things into perspective.  A perspective that I need!

So while it has been a busy few months, I have absolutely nothing to complain about.  I praise God for spiritual refreshment & sustenance, safety & health, freedom to share the Gospel, access to financial resources & Bibles, mobility to get to those who have yet to hear the Gospel.  I praise God that He has allowed me & called me to see from the front row what He is doing in people's lives here in Nsoko.

And I praise God that "Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory" isn't just a trite statement from a man who doesn't know suffering or a God who sits above suffering.  Paul wrote it after many times in prison and enduring many beatings.  And he did so with his eyes on the cross & the God who "endured everything (even death on a cross) for the sake of the elect, that they (we) also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory."