Well, here I am in Swaziland after traveling half way around the world, seeing the sun rise only 4 hours after it set, riding in planes, shuttles & automobiles. I am again humbled that God would bring me all the way over to Africa to allow me to serve Him and I'm thankful for each of the people I got to spend time with before I left. As I was leaving, people used all kinds of words to describe me and this next step of my life....hardly any of which fit. Some said courageous, some said adventurous...but the word that I will always think of when I look back on this season of my life is obedience.
I had thought very little about true obedience before this call on my life, and honestly throughout the process of discerning & surrendering to this call, I thought about disobedience more than I ever had in my life! It's funny that disobedience right now in my life would look like serving full time in ministry, loving on friends & family, pouring into seminary students, tithing & giving generously. But when God has made clear His call on my life for this season, anything besides that would be disobedience. Not that I have it all together and am obedient in all areas of my life (the ground is always level at the foot of the cross!) but in this season of my life, here is my journey towards growing in obedience.
I have always struggled to give things over to God that I thought I had control over, and have struggled to lay down my plans for my life & say "Thy will, not mine be done." And it wasn't any easier through out this process - God called me to surrender some great relationships & things that were/are very close to my heart.
But the thing that surprised me the most (even though it shouldn't have) was the AMAZING peace that has come with surrendering more and more & seeking to be obedient to the Lord. Not just giving up to be more holy, but walking through areas of life & honestly praying "I surrender this to you, Lord...your will be done" The peace that passes understanding comes through surrendering all (circumstances, control, relationships, possessions, plans, hopes, dreams, failures, past, present, future) to the One who already has it ALL in control.
And I wouldn't trade this peace for anything. As I have prayed for friends & family back home, my prayer is that more than anything, you would love & TRULY be satisfied in Christ above all other things (relationships, identity, possessions, successes, plans, etc) and that you would honestly in the depths of your heart surrender to walk obediently to Him (even letting go of that area/item/hobby/relationship that you know He's calling you to let go of & that you keep trying to control).
So even though I go to sleep tonight on a different continent, stepping into a different phase of life & ministry, I go to sleep in peace.
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