Friday, May 4, 2012

11 Days In

In many ways, I can't believe that I've been back here for 11 days!  In some ways it feels like I just got here, but other ways it feels like I've been here a while!  I feel like I have definitely jumped into the deep end instead of wading into the shallow end of full time ministry here, but the last couple of weeks have been great with many busy days but an overall slower pace of life.  I'm getting settled into my house (newly remodeled with a few quirks to still be worked out) and hope to start buying furnishings for it this weekend!  Here's a bullet point list to a few things I've been up to while here:
- visiting people & reconnecting in relationships
- home visits to an ailing Gogo (grandma) & Ntombi (woman with bad wound on her foot from a burn in 1996)
- serving alongside & leading our 8 Swazi ministry partners
- meeting with the other missionary family here to get all of the information I needed before they left for a 2 month trip last weekend
- working with another non-profit & the community to get construction started for a new carepoint building
- coordinating hospital visits for several people (including accompanying a woman with cancer to a hospital in South Africa)
- planning & preparing for the 6 teams that we will host to come serve this summer
- attending a 5 hour Swazi birthday/anniversary party at a homestead (if I didn't stand out enough for being the only white person, I was also the only person eating with a spoon instead of my hands!)
- attending church

There have been many other things as well, I'm sure, but this is what I can remember at this point.  We are getting ready to harvest some of the crops from the garden for the kids at the carepoint at the center, so praise God for the gifts that have come in to help make that possible!
Through it all, God continues to remind me that He doesn't need me here & I'm not anyone's savior...but He is choosing to work through me & in doing so drawing me deeper into relationship with Him.
"Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart.  For consider what great things he has done for you."
1 Samuel 12:24 

Friday, April 27, 2012

Week 1 In A Picture

Ntombi                                              Phindile

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Swazi Picture Of Unity

We pulled off the two lane highway down the steep, weed-covered embankment on the side onto a muddy path.  Two women opened the loose gate for us to drive through as several other women hovered by the outhouses on this cloudy morning.  There are 8 people sitting on the muddy ground under the tree...the 4 women angled together to talk to the 4 men, respectfully not making eye contact.  What looks like a casual Sunday afternoon picnic is actually a meeting of the inner council of this rural area of Swaziland.
As they finish their part of the meeting, we approach them (car floormats in hand to sit on in the mud) and begin our greetings, men first & then the women.  I stumble through my Siswati greeting (I haven’t even been back on the ground for 24 hours!) and as the last man asks me a follow up question, I humbly shrug my shoulders as I can’t answer what he’s saying.  We begin in prayer & introductions as we meet together as 2 organizations and several community members to discuss our partnership in building a neighborhood carepoint to feed the children of the area.  One organization will provide the materials (we discuss whose homestead will be safest to keep these at), one organization will provide the payment for a skilled builder (we discuss where the building will actually be), and the community members will come to help build the building and in return they will receive food from yet another organization.  Our discussion continues as to what each can bring to the partnership, as we sit humbly in the muddy field under a tree.  The headman of the area says that they have no way to give back, but that he knows God will bless these organizations for their giving. 
What began as several kids eating at a broken down building on the side of the road will soon turn into kids playing safely, food being stored without being stolen, because God chose to work through a partnership between this community, these 2 organizations, the organization giving food to workers, the American church who donated money towards this project, the European community who donated money towards this project, and the American college students who will be coming over to help build this carepoint (I will post pictures later of this project & its progress).
As we wrapped up our discussion, we touched on the fact that the surrounding community would see this collaboration & partnership & we prayed that God would be glorified in that.  Yet we humbly acknowledged that there is an enemy who seeks to divide Christians, pitting them against one another.  We closed in prayer with the men standing & the women sitting still, heads bowed.  As I watched a man pick up his boot & another his hat (anything becomes a seat when it's muddy) & walk away, I prayed that God would show His glory in an undeniable way to this community through this building project.  Will you join me in praying for unity as this building project moves forward in the days & weeks to come?

"I do not pray for these only, but also for those who will believe in me...that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me & loved them even as you loved me."
(John 17:20, 23) 

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Crazy, Brave, Courageous, Adventurous...I think not.

Well, here I am in Swaziland after traveling half way around the world, seeing the sun rise only 4 hours after it set, riding in planes, shuttles & automobiles.  I am again humbled that God would bring me all the way over to Africa to allow me to serve Him and I'm thankful for each of the people I got to spend time with before I left.  As I was leaving, people used all kinds of words to describe me and this next step of my life....hardly any of which fit.  Some said courageous, some said adventurous...but the word that I will always think of when I look back on this season of my life is obedience.  
I had thought very little about true obedience before this call on my life, and honestly throughout the process of discerning & surrendering to this call, I thought about disobedience more than I ever had in my life!  It's funny that disobedience right now in my life would look like serving full time in ministry, loving on friends & family, pouring into seminary students, tithing & giving generously.  But when God has made clear His call on my life for this season, anything besides that would be disobedience.  Not that I have it all together and am obedient in all areas of my life (the ground is always level at the foot of the cross!) but in this season of my life, here is my journey towards growing in obedience.
I have always struggled to give things over to God that I thought I had control over, and have struggled to lay down my plans for my life & say "Thy will, not mine be done."  And it wasn't any easier through out this process - God called me to surrender some great relationships & things that were/are very close to my heart.
But the thing that surprised me the most (even though it shouldn't have) was the AMAZING peace that has come with surrendering more and more & seeking to be obedient to the Lord.  Not just giving up to be more holy, but walking through areas of life & honestly praying "I surrender this to you, Lord...your will be done"  The peace that passes understanding comes through surrendering all (circumstances, control, relationships, possessions, plans, hopes, dreams, failures, past, present, future) to the One who already has it ALL in control.  
And I wouldn't trade this peace for anything.  As I have prayed for friends & family back home, my prayer is that more than anything, you would love & TRULY be satisfied in Christ above all other things (relationships, identity, possessions, successes, plans, etc) and that you would honestly in the depths of your heart surrender to walk obediently to Him (even letting go of that area/item/hobby/relationship that you know He's calling you to let go of & that you keep trying to control).
So even though I go to sleep tonight on a different continent, stepping into a different phase of life & ministry, I go to sleep in peace.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Number Crunchers

-10-
weeks was all it took for God to provide through 40+ families/people/churches who have sacrificed to support me financially

-9-
hour time difference between Swaziland & here (except for now it's 8 because of daylight savings)
-8-
Swazi ministry partners who I can't wait to serve alongside

-7-
different languages now jumbling in my head (absolutely not fluent in any of them, but even a few words in each is enough to confuse me - English, Spanish, Creole, Hebrew, Greek, Nepali, Siswati)

-6-
days until I leave Colorado (which is why the blogging has been lacking lately - too many people to spend time with & too much to do!)

-5-
nieces & nephews that I am going to miss a ton (along with the rest of my family)

-4-
bags to fit my life into (2 checked, 2 carry on - I'm up for the challenge!)

-3-
years since I first heard about the country of Swaziland

-2-
years worshiping & serving at Calvary has flown by & I'm going to miss this community that God has blessed me to be a part of!

-1-
God who is worthy of worship, obedience & a surrendered life

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Then & Now

As I continue to prepare to move over to Swaziland and get excited to see familiar faces again & how much some of them have grown, I can't help but reflect on how much they have grown & changed from when I first met them in 2009. Here are a few pictures from 2009 & this fall...
This little girl cried until she slept in my arms the whole first morning I met her at a carepoint in 2009 & was so easy to recognize this year at the Christmas party. Her older sisters are identical twins & it wasn't uncommon for all 3 of them to be home alone from 6am until 5pm each day because their parents were lucky enough to have jobs.

The famous Tembelihle...as a 4 month old, she would be dropped off (or carried by an 8 year old) at our team house each day while her mother worked in the fields. Now a growing almost 3 year old beautiful girl, she has so many teeth, is pretty much potty-trained, is looked after by her 5 year old sister, has a contagious laugh and has been loved on through the few years of her life by so many teams who have come through.

The dress. The sweatshirt. Both looked old, dirty, ratty & torn in 2009 when I first saw Sphae wearing them...but then I had to grab my camera when Tembelihle (her younger sister) was wearing them 2 years later. Amazingly, the dress looks better from a good washing, but the red sweatshirt is as torn as ever. Makes you think twice about hand-me-downs!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Avoiding Spiritual Amnesia

"Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life."
~Deuteronomy 4:9

I am humbled and amazed at how God has moved throughout my whole life, revealing Himself, continuing to give me another chance, continuing to transform me, working out His redemption that was completed 2000 years ago into every facet of my life & who I am here today....and yet I am constantly forgetting these things. How can I be so amazed in the moment, in awe of God's sovereignty & power, yet forget these things so quickly?
I think I join in the crowds of believers throughout history in self-diagnosing myself with spiritual amnesia - forgetting who God is, who I am in Him, what He has done, what He is doing, what He has promised. I hate that this happens, but in a weird way, I take comfort in the fact that I join with good company (the Bible says "remember" more than 200 times in the Old Testament) of people who had a tendency to forget who God is & what He's done. I am excited that for eternity, we won't forget anymore, but will have so much time to reflect on who God is, the ways He revealed Himself to us, the ways God worked in our lives...and we will spend eternity responding in worship to this! We will remember those little, detailed ways He provided for us, spoke to us, led us, and those huge, unbelievable ways that He redeemed us, restored us, and gave us His righteousness as we gave Him our sins.
But for this season, I want to obey this verse - keeping my soul diligently to remember God's specific works in this transition of my life. And as I remember (& record in my journal to help me remember & reflect on this over the rest of my life) His work in my life today, it continues to fuel my faith that His mercies will be new again tomorrow & His grace will be sufficient for each & every day of my life as He is faithful, unchanging, sovereign and provident over all of creation.