The Word of God is Living and Active - Part 5

As I take these few weeks to reflect back on all of the ways that God has shaped me through His word, I'm humbled that He had me start journaling 10 years ago & writing dates of when different verses applied specifically to my situation in my Bible. It's so true that we forget too often how faithfully God has worked in our past, but when we take time to remember His faithfulness to His promises, it helps us to trust more completely in His leading today and in His promises for the future.

This is yet another post about how God spoke to me on that 6 week backpacking trip years ago. It's amazing how loud & clear His voice is when we simplify our lives & fast from other things to create more space for Him to speak & work in our lives! You would think that being in the wilderness for 6 weeks, with only a few other people & my backpack of belongings would bring me to a place of simplicity where I wasn't distracted. But, as you can guess, I still found ways to distract myself & not just focus on the Lord....that is until our solo time. Part way through the trip, we spread out for a 2 day solo, where we couldn't see or hear anyone else from our group. As I finally was laid bare before the Lord (without distractions of people or hiking), I realized that one of the issues that God was bringing me out into the wilderness to process through was my identity in Him. My solo spot set up in the Wind Rivers...with a rock to shelter me from the wind, another rock as my pillow, and my sleeping bag wrapped up in part of a tent to keep me warm & dry as I would sleep out under the stars.

Over the years, especially in south Denver, I had struggled with the fact that I was wired differently than a lot of my friends (I could care less about brand name purses & clothes, but would rather spend my extra money on books or at REI). I knew that it wasn't an accident that God had raised me on a farm, where I spent more time outside than in, where I spent more time alone in a field than at the mall with my friends. But I didn't understand why God had wired me this way & given me these experiences. As I sat along the edge of this amazing lake, above 10,000 feet in the middle of the wilderness in Wyoming, God led me to read Psalm 139 again. And I read it as I wrestled with why He wired me the way He did...

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."
~Psalm 139:13-16

Sitting at the edge of this lake, alone with God, I surrendered my past, present, future, dreams, passions, gifts, talents, fears, successes, failures and so much more again as I realized that God had wired me to like to live in tents & sleeping bags; to be outdoors wearing sandals; to not like tv; to be okay eating almost anything...and He reminded me again and again that He had planned every day of my life and would use it all for His glory. I was free from comparing myself to other people in South Denver, free from comparing myself to other people in ministry, and finally at peace with being who I was created to be and asking God how He wanted to use that in ministry for His glory.